Thursday, January 28, 2010

..life cheats all the time..

ज़िंदगी तेरे इम्तहान तो अब आम हो गए
हर बार हम जीत कर भी नाकाम हो गए
तेरे ज़ख्म देने के अंदाज़ का भी जवाब नहीं 
कि क़त्ल तूने किये और हम बदनाम हो गए 

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

KITNI KHUSHNASEEB HOON MAIN KI MUJHE TU MILA!

मैंने चान्दनी से कहा,
"कितनी खुशनसीब है तू ..तेरा चाँद तो हर दम तेरे पास है.."
इसपे चांदनी मुस्कुराई और बोली,
"हर दम मेरे पास रह कर भी,
मेरे चाँद कि नज़र रहती है हज़ारों पर..
लेकिन तेरा चाँद तुझसे दूर ही सही..
फिर भी उसकी आँखों में सिर्फ तेरा ही बसेरा है.
मेरा चाँद तो लाखों कि आँखों का नूर है..
पर तेरा चाँद तो सिर्फ तेरा है!" 


मैंने शमा से कहा,
"कितनी खुशनसीब है तू..
तेरा परवाना तुझे अपनी जान से भी ज़्यादा चाहता है.."
इसपे शमा झिलमिलाई और बोली,
"मेरे परवाने कि चाहत बेशुमार सही..
लेकिन वो कहाँ मेरे अन्दर कि आग को सह पता है.
तेरे परवाने की चाहत तो इतनी गहरी है,
कि वो तेरी हर कमी को हंस कर अपनाता है..
मेरा परवाना तो मेरी आग में जल कर मिट जाता है..
लेकिन तेरा परवाना तो तेरी आग में जल कर भी मुस्कुराता है!" 


मैंने कुसुम से कहा'
"कितनी खुशनसीब है तू..
तेरा भंवरा तेरे प्यार में कितना दीवाना है.."
इसपे कुसुम ने मुझपे अपनी खुशबु लुटाई और बोली,
"आज मेरा भंवरा मेरी खुशबू में पागल सही..
लेकिन वो तो सिर्फ मेरे रस का प्यासा है..
तेरा भंवरा तो तेरा ऐसा दीवाना है..
कि उसकी मोहब्बत तेरे रूप से नहीं तेरी रूह से है..
मैं तो जिस दिन मुरझाई,भंवरे कि दीवानगी भी खो जाएगी..
लेकिन जब तेरी उम्र ढल भी जाएगी..
फिर भी तू अपने भंवरे कि आँखों में दीवानगी उतनी ही पाएगी! girl looking at hydrangea flower. Children family reunion birthday photography Tilghman Island Annapolis Kent Island Eastern Shore MD


हुई सब से मुलाक़ात..
लेकिन कोई भी मुझ सा खुशनसीब नहीं मिला.
कितनी खुशनसीब हूँ मैं कि मुझे तेरा प्यार मिला..
लोग जिनकी मिसालें देते हैं..
उनकी मोहब्बत तो खोखली निकली..
कोई ज़रा हमारे दामन में झाँक के तो देखे..
के हमें खुदा से तोहफे में क्या मिला!











...old attires are always adored.....

मोहब्बत के ज़िक्र पे जाने क्यूँ ये जुबां आज भी तुम्हारा ही नाम लेती है

दिल के वीरान सन्नाटों में अक्सर आज भी तुम्हारी गूँज सुनाई देती है. Pickard boy meets girl.

Friday, January 22, 2010

LAMHE bhar hai ZINDAGEE

लम्हों कि उस शाख पर जाने कितने लम्हे बिछे हैं
जाने कितने ही पीछे छूट गए
जाने कितने ही राहों में टूट गए
कुछ तो हम खुद ही छाँट आए
कुछ अपनों में बाँट आए
और कुछ कुछ संजोये बैठे हैं

कभी इन संजोये हुए लम्हों कि पोटली में झाकना
कभी आगे आने वाले लम्हों को ताकना
कहने को तो बरसों लम्बी है ज़िन्दगी
जीने को.. सिर्फ एक लम्हा

सोचो तो तनहा..
देखो तो महफ़िल..
चाहो तो मोहब्बत..
समझो तो पहेली..
जी लो तो.. जी लो तो ज़िंदगी!
लेकिन जीने को..सिर्फ एक लम्हा..


MAIN TO BAADAL HOON..

एक लहराता सा आज़ाद आँचल हूँ 
मैं तो बादल हूँ 


सांझ कि सहेली हूँ 
चंदा से भी खेली हूँ 
ये सब मेरे दोस्त हैं
मैं कहाँ अकेली हूँ 


कभी जो प्यार आया तो
बन के अमृत बरसी हूँ
कोई जो आ टकराया तो 
गिरा के बिजली गरजी हूँ


किसी ने जो मुझे थामना चाहा 
एक ठंडा सा एहसास बन के उसपे छाई 
लेकिन अगर कैद कर के मुट्ठी में बांधना चाहा 
जब उसने मुट्ठी खोली तो खाली पायी


एक बहकाता सा काजल हूँ
मैं तो बादल हूँ 


हावाएं मेरा ठिकाना हैं
जहाँ ये ले जाएँ वहीँ मुझे जाना है
एक जगह कब ठहरी हूँ
मुझे  तो सारे जग पे छाना है


न किसी कि सुनती हूँ न किसी से कुछ कहती हूँ
बस अपनी ही धुन में बहती हूँ
जिनकी चाहत हूँ, उनका सपना हूँ
और जो नहीं समझे हैं,उनके लिए पहेली हूँ


हाँ थोड़ी सी पागल हूँ
मैं तो बादल हूँ 1063066_f520.jpg (520×390)













Tuesday, January 19, 2010

the DIVINE SIDE..

इन्साफ करना खुदा का काम है, तू  बस माफ़ करता जा.

उस सितमगर कि दुआओं से ही खुद को पाक़ करता जा.

Monday, January 18, 2010

DARLING.. I MIGHT SLOWLY DIVE AWAY..

How I wish you could read beneath my smiles..
and know how I use them to paint my pained expressions.



How I wish you could hear beyond my laughter..
And hear my heart cry and weep in the storm of endless hurting emotions.





How I wish you could feel beyond my smooth heart beats..
And discover some scars unrecoverable, some wounds as green..as fresh.




How I wish you could peep deep within my eyes..
And see a drop of venom spreading in my pure ocean of love.





How I wish you could feel under my lively skin..
And sense my soul dying quietly...shhh.. all in silence.






How I wish you could understand how it hurts..
And I just keep on wishing, and things seem to change..but nothing actually changes..
All what you see is not me living my life..
Its all that I am only trying..
But deep within..slowly and harshly..
Darling I am dying.




Some helpless emotions still remain..DEEP DOWN IN THERE..

रखते थे तेरे हर सितम को सर आँखों पर, लेकिन गवारा बेवफाई न हो सकी.
तुम्हे अपनाना तो मुमकिन ही न रह गया, और बर्दाश्त जुदाई भी न हो सकी.




Thursday, January 14, 2010

FORGIVE YOURSELF ;)

The charm is back..the glory has returned..
In the fire of hatred, the hatred was burned..

Nothing remains superior because the line itself has grown..
And that too grown in hardest ways, so the limits have torn..

Once you made me cry, the weakness was mine..
Once I shall make you smile, the grace will be mine..

I tried to hate you, I tried being your way..
But love is my nature, and that I cant betray..

And If someday your heart curses you for your disgrace..
Just say sorry to me, and, "forgive yourself.. :) "..I will say!

I have crossed all the hells, so now just the heaven remains..
I have been gifted with plenty of smiles, so no more sorrows and pains..

Reclining in his cradle, so tender and mild..
I wink at you and say, "look! I am still God's favorite child!!!" You're Cute

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Love is in the air...!

मोहब्बत जताते नहीं कि नज़र न लग जाय, और उन्हें शिक़ायत है कि हम इज़हार नहीं करते.

See full size image
गुलाब नहीं देते उन्हें कि कांटे न चुभ जाएँ, और वो समझते हैं हम प्यार नहीं करते.

ONE hopeless heart of mine! ;)

दिल को समझाने कि कोशिश तो बहुत की, लेकिन सारी कोशिशें नाकाम हैं.

टोको तो सफ़ाई में कहता है यही, कि समझना तो दिमाग का काम है!

Some deeeep wounds...

जितनी बार किया शुरू चलना, काँटों पर ही पड़े कदम.

जलाया कुछ इस कदर सूरज की आग ने, कि डरने लगे रौशनी से हम.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A TRICK TO MAKE ME REALIZE

Every heavy heart beat,inspired my every step.
To my defeat, my soul cried and my heart wept.
leaving the entire world behind,I reached the cliff top.
I was about to loosen my feet,and let my body drop.

Suddenly,a soft breeze touched my hair,
and playfully blew it here and there,
like my father's hand it felt,
the tender touch made my heart melt.
My heart drove back to those childhood days.
Those long drives of decembers,those 'kulfeez' of mays.
Whose motive in life, has only been to make true my every wish,
would I be fair enough,if such pure love I ditch?

Wind shook the tree above to shower
with morning dews and and an aromatic flower.
It reminded me of my tiny tub baths,
protected in mom's towel of care,how I walked the toughest paths
Always walked along like a shield,never did she leave me alone,
not even in my naughty teens,when I used to be over the phone!
Who stood against the whole world for me,trusted me all the time,
Is this what I give her in return,now when the chance is mine?

From a branch beside,a tiny leaf carefully touched my skin,
Tickled me a bit and sustained the touch with affection crawling in.
Bringing in the memories of my sister,my cousins and my friends,
and all those who care for me,who are there for me,whose love knows no ends.
how we have played,we have fought,we have won,we have lost,but it has always been 'we'.
then how could I be so selfish to take a decision, considering only me.
All my precious faces flashed,with a thought in my mind that came,
that..what if the similar defeat they faced and what if they chose to do the same?

I flinched at the thought and the movement prick,
a thorn in my feet..it all seemed like a trick.
A trick to make me realize and care,
for my people,who have always been there.
I don't owe my life to people who gave me this pain.
I have enough to start my life all over again.
So I pulled out the thorn and threw it away,
put a broad smile on my face and walked back all the way.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

THE DEFEAT

I thought I was different
and you proved I was wrong..
I thought you you were different..
and you did the same once again..
All my beliefs shattered..
All my hopes torn..

Earlier..
Whenever I used to go to sleep,
my lashes clutched together..
in enthusiasm..so many dreams
used to flow in..with different
colors of hope..This world
never used to matter much..
but I had a world of my own.

Now..
When I lie down on my bed..
dreams are something I fear.
My eyes open wide
and all the lashes torn apart.
I stare in the dark..
waiting for all my colors of hope
to flow in..but all I can see
is just the darkness..and what flows out
is just a colorless tear..
So now..dreams are something I fear.

Sadly now..I have nowhere to go..
this world I never found worth..
and my own world has gone away.
No colors for me..
No hopes for me..
Oh God..I have no reasons to stay.
Each time I close
my dreamless and lonely eyes..
I just want to move away.
Call me back..let me not open
these eyes again..O Lord..
just one last wish..this is all I pray.


JUST ONE MOMENT...WHEN I LOST YOU

We walked together
hand in hand all the way.
I thought I was the only one.
You made me believe that
I was the only one..

Now that I suddenly find
that all my dreams have been
shattered and crushed..
I sit all alone in a corner,
deprived of love and light..
I close my eyes and walk all the way back..
Madly searching for that moment..
that shrewd moment..
that snatched you away from me
flawlessly unnoticed.

How I wish I could get that back.
I would gather all my love and bestow
on you..I would hold your hand in such
a way..that you would never..never ever
feel like turning the other way..

But how much ever I search..
deep inside my heart i know..
that how much ever I weep and cry..
I can't get it back.
Swinging in the dilemma of love and hate..
I curse myself for being so helpless that..
It was just a moment..just a small moment..
which tossed over my fate.

You say..but for that moment,
you walked with me hand in hand..
You say..but for that moment,
i have been the only one..
But, how would I ever make you realise
my honey..that just one weak moment of yours...
broke my strength forever..
made me lose you forever.

Howmuch ever you try..
but with that single broken moment
from the garland of our relationship..
I am afraid..You won't ever be able to make me believe,
that I was the only one..
That..I am the only one.

I PROUD TO BE A HEART

Sometimes I feel I am a Coward loner...
I fear the mirror, I feel it may laugh at me.
I gasp! ..and turn around to see my past
mocking at my destiny..
I hide my face in the dark.
I peep within and search for my heart..
I find it shrinking in cold misery.
It weeps and questions me,
that where did I lose that self of mine..
who used to say,"what I am..I proud to be."

Shuffling through all those moments passed by..
I travel through the distance between
what was I and what am I...
drop by drop I recollect my self.
Alas! My own reflection refuses to
recognize me..I crave to get it back..
But I am afraid that it might get dirty,
so I dont touch it even...I quietly stare.
It is so composed that I feel the distortion
even more..It looks at me in pity, and I hate
it for that..I grab it in my fist
and sprinkle it back in my past..

So desperately I search for my pride..
My soul is lost I realize..
Its not me..NO it cant be!
Just a breathing dead body.
Dead I say because it is deprived of life..
"DEPRIVED?? NO!",my heart screams and says..
"life is deprived of me..I kicked it away
because it doesn't deserve me..what
is the worth of this unfair life,
to survive, I need no one.."

I smile and take a sigh of relief.
Though lifeless,yet so independent..
Though miserable,yet so proud.
No self,no soul,no life,no pride..
What I have always been is only a heart.
It is mightier than all of these..
Though stamped,crushed and distorted..
I still proud to be a heart
in this world full of HEARTLESS BRAINS.

Though they may look down upon me,
but with my chin up, I shall always
smile and say,"you all fake to be what
you are not..but I am what I am,
and I am what I proud to be!"