UNHEARD DOESN'T MEAN UNHURT

I sometimes said it is intense
I sometimes said it is better
Most of the times I kept silent
But did I ever say the pain is gone?

I didn't because It has always been there,
As sharp as before,
every moment piercing my heart till the soul
every moment pinning down my self esteem till the earth
butchering my dreams into uncountable pieces

Everyday I fight with myself
Every moment I try to rationalize my trust for you
but every reason feels insane
but every day I lose

I lose I lose I lose
Oh no..how it hurts
I just try to explain myself..though all in vain
..that no..it is still not over..

Someday my love will win..
and my heart screams at me..
"DON'T BE CRAZY..
how many more proofs you wan't??.. he is not yours
..and never will he be."

tired and afraid
I turn and peep into your eyes..
and I see the same love as before..
it soothes my heart.. but just till the moment I realize..
I realize that this is the same look, which deceived me once..
The same one which you have already proven to be fake..
again and again and again..
And like a brainless heart..I have trusted your lying eyes..
again and again and again..

And.. when I see myself losing again..
And.. I am unable to stop my tears..
And..when my words utter your harsh deeds..
You..instead..of feeling the pain in them..find my words harsh..
You..blame me for my tears..say I keep repeating the pain you gave me
just onces OR twice OR thice..

You hit someone  HARD
You say sorry and think the pain should be gone
And if still the one in question cries and complains..
that see..it still hurts..
You find that annoying and disturbing..
Ask yourself how fair is that??
Take the same hammer and hit yourself..
THE SAME WAY..
And see if you can forgive yourself.
And see if you can ignore the pain and smile for me..
The same way how..I do for you.

UNHEARD doesn't mean UNHURT

हमारे बदलते आईने को देखना
गौर से खामोशी सुन कर देखना
फिर भी दर्द का एहसास जो न हो सके
फ़ुरसत से हमसे दिल बदल कर देखना

पलकों कि ठंडी छावं से जो बरसा दिया
तो तुमने भी पानी समझ कर भुला दिया
पिघले मगर जिस आंच से ये मोती जहाँ
जल जाए ना उस सीने से दामन देखना

कहते हो क्या ख़ास है इस राह में
हैं सैंकड़ों जो चल रहे इस आग में
जब छोड़ जाएंगे कभी हम हार कर
तो दो कदम भी इस पे चल कर देखना

LISTEN TO THE EYES

Words are just 'words', their shallow hold can cover just the mind,

emotions are the depths of heart, words can never unwind

Words are deliberate, words can manipulate, words can cheat, words can hide,

don't trust the words, they are dishonest,they would never show you the deeper side.

Outlet of emotions eyes were meant to be, imagine why tears don't come through lips

lips are too occupied by the mechanical mind,so the heart shares its pain with the eyes, in the form of these beautiful drips..

If you really wish to feel the truth,Look in to the eyes

because this is the beautiful, innocent pair, which never lies

They can mourn while you laugh, they can glare when you smile
bottled up are just the words, but eyes can always speak in their own style

listen to the eyes, they speak more than words,words may say 'its okay' but eyes might insist
you may lie but eyes would resist, you may die but your eyes might still exist

They exclaim in astonishment when they open wide, they shout aloud when they are shut tight
they stare in the opposite direction to say 'not interested',they stare at you penetratingly to declare a fight.

Be it innocence, be it wickedness,whatever you feel, your eyes will reflect
once you shout, you might not get noticed, but when you stare one can never neglect.

the pair can dip you deep in love, when in love, the same pair can drown you deep the blind hatred well
its all about the look they chose for you, and, the the same place is heaven,the same place is hell,

emotions in words lose their value, they are spoken through the eyes
like your emotions, wet are they, speak your heart till it beats, flaunt your feelings till the ocean dries.

SUFFERING FROM NOSTALGIA

I wake up in the morning..

as usual with a broad smile on my face

with a notion that nothing has changed..

my ears expecting to hear the same voices they are used to hear everymorning..

but all I hear is silence..

my ears console me and ask me to wait..

they ring sweet bells of the past mornings voices

when they see me losing my patience..

       

        "good morning shinni.. uth jaa raani beti"

"shinnniiii.... shinnnii.."

               "utho na... uthogii...??... stupid utho..ham bore ho rahe hain"

Voices which enlighten my day..

brighten my heart..bring a smile on my face.

And my dreamy bells are interrupted by a sweet,yet not that desirable voice of my roomie..

"Shivani..what time will you leave for office??" 

I ignore the voice and close my eyes and act as if I am still asleep..

smile gets snatched from my lips..they utter helplessly.. "papa.. ma... didi.."

get no answer from anywhere..

and another useless tear rolls down once again..

another morning without you three..

I don't like this new phase..

I don't like this change..

longing for your comfortable arms and protective shelter..

I don't want to lose on any more moments which I can spend with you..

All I want to do is just come back to you

Be again a sweet happy family as before..